Interview With Della Mullins, LCPC

Bio

I am a single Licensed Clinical Professional residing in New York City. I through the years always enjoyed helping others and trying to make a difference in others lives. For years I worked for Companies in the Human Service field. Assisting populations of the Homeless, Underserved, Domestic Violence etc. I offered my services for more than 10 years. Although fulfilled I was always searching to expand my education and experience so I started my Company spillthateawithdee helping Couples and Individuals with everything Relationships.

What should a woman do about a boyfriend who won’t let her break up with him?

Well, to answer this question one needs to understand that no one has control over you. Although in a relationship each party compromises and tries to consider the other person’s feelings there are no stipulations that a person has to stay or get permission to leave a relationship.

If you are in a relationship and you are now at a point where you feel that the person who you once loved and committed yourself to no longer suits you it’s perfectly fine to exit the relationship. Explain to your partner that you no longer want to continue a relationship with him. But, understand after you have this conversation that your actions must be consistent with what your words have stated.

Step 1 : Stop making yourself available to him
Step 2: Try to occupy your time with work, or other activities – the best way to mentally move on is keeping busy.
Step 3: Inform everyone in your life that you and he are no longer an item. This will help others see a pattern that you are slowly moving on.
Step 4: Don’t engage in sexual endeavors with him any longer no matter what.
Step 5: Keep in mind why you decided to leave the relationship and don’t fall back in a rut.

If after following these basic steps if he still can’t grasp that you no longer want to continue to be with him then you need to start using direct words such as “I”, for example: “I no longer want to continue in a relationship with you” or “I no longer have feelings for you in a romantic way” etc. Once you start directing your words with the word “I” this will help him understand that you are serious and he probably should move on. Usually by moving yourself from the situation and directing your words there shouldn’t be anymore problems.

However, if you have utilized all these steps and he still insists that you are not leaving him and the relationship then I suggest you start informing higher authorities about your situation because he is now demonstrating that he doesn’t care what you are feeling or saying which leads to deeper issues.
I hope this helped all who are dealing with a situation like this.

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