How to tell if your girlfriend is texting another guy

• What are some signs that a man’s girlfriend is secretly texting another man, and what should he do if that’s found to be the case?

Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W.:

Having contact with other men who are friends or business associates is no threat; it’s only other potential dating material that is the threat. An open, honest discussion is necessary to see if they are looking for someone else and want to keep their options open. When there are firm agreements in place early on in the relationship about exclusivity, forsaking all others, those boundaries about not connecting either in person, by email, text, and phone calls with other potential partners, it seals the container. Such agreements get the relationship off on a strong foot. It is important that neither partner make the firm agreements unless they are fully prepared to meet them. If either one makes the agreement and violate it, it compromises the trust. It doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, but some work needs to be done to restore the trust and get back on a strong foundation by making agreement that are kept on both sides.

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