My boyfriend went through my phone!

You still can’t stop thinking about the fact that he went through your phone. “Why did he have to go through my phone”, you keep asking yourself. Whether he confessed to going through your phone or you found out some other way, it’s natural to keep wondering why he did it.

He shouldn’t have gone through your phone, but now he has done it, and you have to address the issue. Firstly, it is important to acknowledge that it is an issue worth addressing. You shouldn’t sweep it under the rug because things will most likely become worse.

Now, you’ve decided to address the fact that he went through your phone. Here are some pointers on how you should go about addressing this issue.

Try not to overreact

Finding out that someone you trust completely doesn’t trust you as much can be a big blow, and one may naturally freak out and overreact, especially if they didn’t confess the act to you. You should ensure that you don’t overreact because that will jeopardize your chances of handling the situation properly. Yes, they probably don’t trust you as much as they used to and that hurts, but you should be concerned about finding out why they did it.

Find out why they did it

As much as you may not be able to understand whatever reason they have for going through your phone, you should try hear them out.

If you found out that they went through your phone without them telling, present your findings to them in a rational way and ask them for their reasons. You already know that they do not trust you as much as you expect them; you should also know the reason for the loss of trust.

You may find out they went through your phone because they were concerned about what was between you and the new colleague you’ve become overly friendly with and are always charting it. This still comes down to them not trusting you enough but you can tell now that their concerns are a bit valid. Also, remember to be objective while they explain why they went snooping.

Address their concerns

Let’s continue with the scenario above where they were bothered about what was going on between you and the new colleague and wanted to find out things themselves from your phone. You should address their concern by explicitly explaining the relationship between you and the colleague.

You should make them understand that going through your phone was a complete breach of privacy and trust. They should be able to trust you enough to bring such concerns to you instead of going through your phone.

At this point, they should be repentant of their act and seek ways of making amends. You should also explain how finding out that they went through your phone made you feel.

Build a stronger relationship

The fact that he went thorough your phone is a clear indication that all is not well. At this point, both of you should address the issues in the relationship. The phone incident may just unearth issues they didn’t notice. Work through those issues and build a stronger relationship where no one will need to check the other person’s phone.

It is also important to carefully evaluate the state of your relationship. Sometimes, the incident may be the sign you need to make that permanent decision of leaving.

Author: Rac

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