Below is our interpretation of the best relationship tips found in the blog post series “Lessons from Jove” by Jana Kellam (Jove is a late horse and friend), author of Straight from a Horse’s Mouth: Relationship Secrets that Take Your Love Life from Meh to Magical which you can get at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075ZZ8MNG.
1. True love is being genuine rather than being manipulative and knowing to show appreciation for what you have received rather than asking for more.
2. Benefits of grieving: it “detoxes” your body and makes you feel better afterward, serves as a posthumous bonding experience with the departed, enriches your understanding of yourself and makes life feel more vivid and intense.
3. When initiating an interaction with someone (like starting a conversation with a stranger in the subway), be empathetic and considerate rather than selfish so that it’s not an unpleasant experience for them. If you want others to initiate an interaction with you, make sure you’re not giving off a closed, uninviting vibe.
4. Focusing too much on trying to follow idealistic and preconceived notions of a “good” relationship can be counterproductive to creating a deeper connection which is better served by letting things flow naturally.
5. Boundaries are important for a healthy relationship, and even more important is clearly communicating them.
6. Be cognizant of the fact that what you think your partner is experiencing can be completely different from what they are actually experiencing – rather than acting from your own perspective, put that aside and focus on listening and understanding them more.
7. Anger can be caused by fear, so whenever you feel anger try to find the root fear behind it. Do the same when someone shows anger towards you.
8. Tips for less toxic social media interactions: Be calm and impartial – get away from the screen and do something relaxing if you have to. Don’t be so serious all the time. Try to find something in common with the person you’re interacting with. Indicate that you have read and understand their position rather than “talking over” them. Learn to walk away from a conversation you no longer want to engage in (albeit respectfully).
9. Unconditional love doesn’t equal being a doormat – loving yourself is a prerequisite to loving others.