What to do when a commitment phobe pulls away

• Give them space and time to process their feelings. Don’t be the clingy ex who bombards them with texts, calls, or visits. Let them have some breathing room so they can sort out their emotions without feeling suffocated by your presence.

• Avoid pushing or pressuring them into commitment. No one likes a pushy salesperson, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Respect their boundaries and don’t try to force them into making a decision that they’re not ready for yet.

• Communicate openly and honestly about your own needs and boundaries. Be upfront about what you want from the relationship (or lack thereof) so there are no surprises down the road. If you need more commitment than they’re willing to give, then it might be time to reevaluate whether this is really working for both parties.

• Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to navigate the situation. You don’t have to go through this alone! Reach out to loved ones who care about you and want what’s best for you – even if that means telling you some hard truths sometimes.

• Consider whether this relationship is truly fulfilling for both parties in the long term. Is this person worth waiting around for? Are they able/willing/interested enough in meeting your needs? Or do you deserve someone who will commit wholeheartedly?

• Don’t compromise on your own values or goals in order to keep someone who isn’t ready for commitment. Stay true to yourself and what makes YOU happy rather than bending over backwards trying to please someone else at all costs.

• Keep yourself busy with hobbies, self-care activities, and other relationships while giving the phobe space. Distract yourself with things that make YOU feel good instead of obsessing over why he/she won’t text back right away!

• Be prepared for the possibility that they may never be ready for commitment despite your efforts- which sucks but it’s better to know that now than years down the road. Don’t hold onto false hope if they’ve made it clear that commitment isn’t in their cards.

• Don’t take their behavior personally or blame yourself for their fear of commitment. It’s not your fault that they’re afraid of settling down – this is something internal and personal to them, so don’t make it about you!

• Avoid chasing after them or trying to convince them to stay in the relationship. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink! If someone wants out, let ‘em go – even if it hurts like hell at first.

• Focus on building a strong sense of self-worth and independence outside of the relationship. Remember who YOU are without this person- what makes you unique and valuable? What do you enjoy doing when he/she isn’t around?

• Take time to reflect on your own feelings and needs, rather than solely focusing on the phobe’s behavior. Your emotions matter too! Make sure you’re taking care of yourself emotionally during this time instead of just worrying about why they won’t commit.

• Consider whether you are willing and able to wait for someone who may never be ready for commitment. Are you okay with potentially waiting months/years/hopefully-not-decades for this person? Or would life be easier with someone else who knows what they want?

• Set clear boundaries around communication and contact during this time of uncertainty- because nobody likes mixed signals! Letting each other know where things stand helps avoid confusion later on (and maybe some unnecessary heartache).

• Trust your intuition about what is best for you in terms of staying or leaving the relationship – listen closely because sometimes our gut tells us more than we think!

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