Oftentimes, when things go south in a marriage, the next line of action is usually for the couples to separate. Separation isn’t a divorce, rather it is a period where the couple decides what they really want. The separation makes them understand whether the marriage is worth fighting for. If you intend to save your marriage after separating from your partner, here are some tips that can guide you.
Take It Slowly
If you want to save your marriage after a separation, you need to take it slowly. Don’t push for anything, as your partner must want this as much as you want it. Take time out to think your decision through, and keep in mind that you cannot rush or force anything. Rather than patch up the issues you have, deal with them one after the other. Don’t threaten or give ultimatums to the other person, as this causes more harm than good. If the marriage is worth saving, the other person would see it, and you wouldn’t need to convince them to be with you.
While you both are separated, it is important to set healthy boundaries. Talk about what you expect from the separation and set rules that you both must follow. Refrain from any kind of intimacy or unnecessary emotional attachment, as it would only make things more complicated. If you have children, talk about visiting times so the children don’t have to feel distant from another parent. Health decisions and financial matters should also be discussed.
Don’t Be Too Needy
Being needy does more harm than good as it turns your partner off quicker than anything. The truth is simple; if they truly want to be with you or be around you, they would. Stop stalking, begging, calling, texting or asking them too many questions at the same time. The main focus here is to stay apart, not being together at every point in time. Also, start getting used to the fact that you can be by yourself and still be happy. Value yourself so you become the best version of you. Stay happy and fulfilled every time, so having a partner would just be a plus.
Seek Professional Help
One of the best ways to deal with this issue is to get help from therapists or marriage counselors. Apart from the fact that they are as objective as possible, they also help you communicate and relate differently with each other. They’ll help both of you understand each other by directly tackling whatever issues you are facing. It is important to note here that you should communicate your feelings and be as honest as possible with your partner and therapist. It might be an emotional roller coaster, but it would help the situation better.
Saving a marriage after separation takes a lot of work, and it can only be worth it if both of you are willing and able to scale through the situations you are facing.