What causes resentment in a marriage?

It’s no news that one of the many slow poisons that are fast killing marriages is resentment. It doesn’t happen out of nowhere, but builds up over time. In marriages where both partners are used to bottling up emotions or sweeping differences under the rug, in no time these marriages will be overcome by resentment. Marriage is a joint partnership, so it doesn’t just involve one person. If any of the partners have started to harbor feelings of resentment towards the other, it is necessary that they get to the root cause before it goes out of hand. These feelings of resentment could be caused by any of several factors, but they all involve a form of injustice, wrongdoing or offense by the other partner. In this post, we have highlighted a few reasons why partners could begin to feel resentment in a marriage.

Unfulfilled Desires

Just like any relationship, resentment in marriage could be a result of unmet desires. This happens especially when both parties had high expectations for the marriage. It could be in terms of finances, communication and even intimacy. You might start to feel like your partner is either not doing or giving enough for the marriage to be what you want it to be. This would make you cranky and end up having resentment in your marriage.


Another huge cause of resentment in marriage is selfishness. If you want to be married, you need to be as selfless as you can be. Always put your partner’s needs before your own. This not only makes your partner love and respect you more, but he or she would do the same. It nourishes the union as you both would always be on the same page without expecting anything or being too entitled to things.

Failing To Keep Promises

If you cannot keep your promises, then don’t make them. Broken and unfulfilled promises are detrimental to your marriage, especially because your partner would keep anticipating what you say you would do, then get disappointed. When this is done over and over again, your partner would totally lose trust and faith in you, and make them resent you for a long time.

Non-Appreciation of Efforts

A major cause of resentment in marriage is when a partner does not appreciate the effort of the other partner. This can be particularly frustrating, especially when the partner is doing his or her best to make the other person happy. Instead of constantly talking about what is wrong, take a moment each day to appreciate whatever your spouse is doing. It doesn’t have to be something huge, as it can be as little as taking the trash out of the bin. We’re all humans and we love to hear how appreciated we are.

Resentment is a horrible thing to happen in any marriage, as it even kills the intimacy involved. If your marriage is suffering from resentment, try and work things out with your spouse, before the wall of resentment becomes too high for you both to climb.

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