“He left me for her”

What should a woman do when her partner leaves her for someone else? We interviewed experts asking them this question, below are their answers.

Clinical Psychologist Gaby Balsells:

  • Close all loops in terms of communication + connection together. This means, take care of all unfinished business, like giving back items or anything you need to give back, so that there’s no pending conversations that can then become excuses to reconnect.
  • Relationship research shows that having no contact for at least 3 months is the quickest and healthiest way to begin to heal and move on from a breakup. This means you settle anything you need to settle and then go 3 months without talking. No calling, no texting. If there is any official business that pops up in between those 3 months, it’s best done via email.
  • While you won’t be talking to your ex, you are not alone. Write down a list of all the people you that can be part of your support network: trusted friends, close family, any people you could share your feelings with and feel safe enough to let them support you. Rack your brain and see if there’s any other people you can add to the list.
  • If your ex was an important support or friend in your life, you’ll need to “replace” them as your #1 go to person. Pick your #1 person from your supporter list. It could be your best friend, or closest sibling. This will be someone you can call or reach for whenever you feel like you really miss your ex or need to talk to someone about your feelings.
  • If you’re feeling guilty about needing support, you can even ask that person if they are willing to be your main support! You have so many people that love you and really want to support you through this tough time!
  • Let yourself receive love from friends, and let yourself be sad and grieve all you need.
  • Heartbreak feels like a lot of grief, pain and sadness. And the biggest thing to know about sadness is it’s not something to be fixed. It’s an emotion to be felt. Let yourself cry as much as you need.
  • Double down on your self care. As much as you can, move your body, eat nourishing foods, hydrate and get enough sleep. Those things also greatly affect mental health.

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