With the divorce rate on the increase and the family courts busier than ever, the chances of dating a man with a kid (from a previous marriage or relationship) are higher than ever. Now if he is not just a single dad, but one with full custody of his kid(s), there are a lot of things you should know before deciding to get on that wagon.
- His kids will affect your relationship. Whether you like to believe it or not, his kids will always play a major role in your relationship. A single dad who is committed to raising his kids would always put his kids before your relationship. If you cannot come to terms with this fact, then maybe that’s not the relationship for you.
- He will always be busy. As a single dad, a lot of time would be spent taking of his children, attending school functions and doctors’ appointments attending recitals etc. All of this including earning a living for his children will limit the time he has to spend with you. So if you decide that this is what you are going to do, then you have to understand that he may not pay you as much attention as you’re used to. If this is something you think you can deal with, then good for you! You’ve found yourself a man.
- Pay attention to his children. With children, you just never know. They may be cute little angels with no tendencies for mischief or they may excited little humans that go around wreaking havoc. Before you make the decision to go into a relationship with that “everything you need in a man” kind single dad, closely observe how his children behave. More often than not, a child’s behavior is a reflection of their parents. So if his children are badly behaved and disrespectful to their father or to you, then it’s possible that you’ve missed something about your prince charming.
- Pay attention to his parenting style. For someone who already has a head start in the parenting gig, getting him to make a switch would definitely be an uphill task. You have to pay attention to how he’s raising his kids and determine whether it works for you. If it doesn’t, you just be sitting on a disaster waiting to happen.
- His children may not like you. When making the decision to date a single dad, always remember that his children (especially younger kids) may not like you. They might feel like you’re trying to take the place of their mother or you’re in the way of their parents getting back together. This would definitely be an issue for you because like we discussed earlier, when it gets down to it, he will always choose his children over you. If this is the case in your relationship, you could try several approaches. Be kind to them while reminding them that you know that you’re not their mother and you have no intention of taking her place. However, if you notice that they are not warming up to you and their dad always takes their side in arguments, then is definitely time to reevaluate your stance in that relationship.
Irrespective of all that we’ve said, it is absolutely possible to build a loving relationship with a single dad who has full custody of his kids. You just need to understand what works for you and what sacrifices you may need to make. In extreme cases, you also need to recognize when it’s time to cut your losses and move on.