• A hot and cold commitment phobe may show intense interest in a relationship one day, only to withdraw completely the next.
– One minute they’re sending you heart emojis and planning your future together, the next they’re ghosting you faster than Casper. It’s confusing as hell.
• They often struggle with maintaining emotional connection and intimacy, leading them to push their partners away.
– Emotional vulnerability can be scary for anyone, but for these folks it’s like trying to speak Klingon. Instead of risking getting hurt or losing control, they’ll put up walls between themselves and their partner.
• This behavior can stem from past traumas or attachment issues that make it difficult for them to trust others.
– Maybe mommy was never there when they needed her most. Or maybe daddy always promised he’d come back but never did (thanks dad). Either way, something in their past has made them wary of putting all their eggs in one basket.
• Hot and cold commitment phobes may also fear losing their independence or sense of self within a relationship.
– “I’m not just an individual anymore! I’m part of a WE now!” *shudders* For some people this is just too much pressure. They don’t want to lose sight of who they are outside of the relationship.
• Despite these challenges, some people with commitment phobia are able to work through their fears and establish healthy relationships.
– There is hope! With time (and possibly therapy), even those with severe cases of hot-and-coldness can learn how to open up emotionally without feeling like they’re jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.
• A hot and cold commitment phobe may have a history of short-lived relationships or avoid them altogether.
– If you see someone who goes through more breakups than Taylor Swift goes through boyfriends…watch out. It could mean that person struggles with sticking around once things get serious.
• They may struggle with making plans for the future, such as moving in together or getting married.
– Commitment-phobes don’t like to think too far ahead. It’s kind of like asking them what they want for dinner next week when they haven’t even decided if they’re hungry yet today.
• Hot and cold commitment phobes often send mixed signals to their partners, leaving them confused about where they stand in the relationship.
– One day you feel like everything is going great, the next it’s radio silence. It can be frustrating trying to decipher whether your partner is just busy at work or has suddenly lost interest altogether.
• This behavior can be frustrating and hurtful to those involved, leading to feelings of rejection and insecurity.
– When someone sends mixed signals it’s hard not to take it personally. You start questioning yourself – “Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?” But remember: this isn’t about you!
• Therapy can be an effective way for hot and cold commitment phobes to work through their fears and develop healthier patterns of relating.
– If all else fails…therapy! (And let’s face it, who couldn’t use a little therapy?) A trained professional can help uncover underlying issues that might be contributing to hot-and-coldness so that people can learn how to have healthy relationships without feeling suffocated or scared.