• Ignore her feelings and emotions completely: Pretend that her emotions are as invisible as the cloak of Harry Potter, because who needs emotional connection anyway?
• Constantly criticize and belittle her, making her feel worthless: Master the art of backhanded compliments and snide remarks to ensure she questions every ounce of self-worth she has left.
• Be unfaithful or show interest in other women: Make sure your wandering eye becomes a telescope for all potential distractions, leaving no doubt about your lack of commitment.
• Refuse to communicate openly and honestly about your problems or concerns: Keep those walls up higher than Trump’s proposed border wall; communication is overrated anyways!
• Show a complete lack of respect for her boundaries and personal space: Invade her personal bubble like you’re auditioning for “World’s Worst Space Invader.”
• Take no interest in her life, hobbies, or aspirations: Treat conversations about what makes her happy with the same enthusiasm as watching paint dry on a rainy day.
• Act possessive and controlling, trying to dictate every aspect of her life: Become an honorary member of the Control Freak Society by micromanaging everything from how she dresses to which cereal brand she should eat.
• Display a lack of effort or commitment towards the relationship: Approach relationships like it’s just another item on your never-ending procrastination list – why put in any real effort when there are cat videos waiting to be watched?
• Avoid spending quality time together or neglecting date nights altogether: Replace romantic candlelit dinners with Netflix marathons while sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Who needs romance when you have remote control battles instead?
• Disregard any attempts she makes to improve the relationship or address issues: Brush off all suggestions for growth faster than Superman dodges bullets – after all, addressing problems would require actual adulting skills!
• Show a lack of empathy and dismissesher feelings when she tries to express them: Channel your inner robot and respond with a cold, emotionless “Error 404: Empathy not found” whenever she needs emotional support.
• Constantly prioritize your own needs and desires over hers: Make sure the world revolves around you like it’s an episode of “The Narcissist Show,” leaving her feeling as important as yesterday’s leftovers.
• Display inconsistent behavior, making her unsure of where she stands with you: Keep her guessing more than a magician performing his greatest trick – now you see commitment, now you don’t!
• Be overly possessive or jealous, suffocating her in the relationship: Embrace your inner clingy octopus by wrapping tentacles of jealousy around every innocent interaction she has.
• Engage in disrespectful or hurtful behaviors towards her friends or family members: Treat those close to her like they’re contestants on a reality TV show – vote them off one by one until there’s no one left but yourself.
• Neglect personal hygiene or let yourself go physically, showing little self-care: Transform into Captain Caveman overnight – because nothing says “I’m ready for love” like unkempt hair and questionable body odor.
• Refuse to compromise on important matters, always insisting on having things your way: Adopt the mantra that relationships are just another opportunity for dictatorship; who cares about democracy when it comes to decisions?
• Become emotionally distant and unavailable, leaving her feeling neglected and unimportant: Master the art of disappearing faster than Houdini himself; being emotionally MIA is surely the key ingredient for any successful breakup recipe!
• Invalidateher opinions and ideas by constantly undermining or dismissing them : Play devil’s advocate so often that even Satan would be impressed – why let pesky notions like respect get in the way?