Married Man likes me at Work!

Love at the workplace is not something rare. You spend hours with each other on a daily basis. There are times when you have to work together closely and that you may have to work overtime with your colleagues. That is why it is no wonder that attractions start and romance brews in the workplace. However, one of the most common problems with such situations is that often, it happens between someone who is married and someone who is not. At times, it even happens to those who are both married. Now, how can you tell if a married man likes you at work?

  • Up stares. You may catch him staring at you often. Whenever you catch him staring, there are only two things that he does – it’s either he holds your gaze and you find yourself on a stare off or he blushes and looks embarrass that you caught him staring at you. It sounds like something that high school students would do but it is a common sign that a married man likes you at work as well. Also, whenever he talks to you, you may notice that he maintains eye contact with you more than he does with others.
  • Accidentally in sight. If you feel like you are bumping into each other more often than usual, especially when he has no business hanging around within your sight, then it is possible that he is looking for or creating reasons to get close to you. Men can be quite creative when it comes to such tasks. You may also notice that he seems to be the one who initiates conversation with you whenever you’re around.
  • This Appearance. Compliments are great especially when they are sincere. However, these compliments can also be a sign that a married man at work likes you. When it is purely work-related, you may get compliments about being hard-working, about being diligent, or for a recent accomplishment. However, when a married co-worker compliments you on how you look or just about anything about your appearance, it is a tell-tale sign that he is into you.
  • Alone unnaturally. You may notice that he always finds excuses to be alone with you or to work alone with you. In times when he gets the chance to be alone with you, it’s either he does everything to impress you or he just can’t stop fidgeting because of nervousness.
  • Blurred boundaries. While small talk is OK for acquaintances, a married man who likes you may have special interest on your personal life as well. He may ask questions that you may be uncomfortable answering. This just shows that he is interested with what you do beyond work. He may have even more interest about your romantic relationships that he may directly or indirectly ask if you are dating somebody or if you are single.

You need to understand that you need to respect relationships and even moreso, you need to respect yourself. If a married man likes you at work, then it is best to keep distance and let him know that you do not settle for sharing when you can have a man all for yourself.

How to Flirt with a Guy at Work

• Things might be a bit too obvious and noticeable to others if there’s no reason for you to be interacting with him, so create excuses and situations where you need to see him for work-related reasons (like working overtime together – just the two of you). It doesn’t even have to involve actual work, e.g. a coworkers’ lunch or night out – this also has the advantage of being able to see what he’s like in casual environments. And of course if you want to it’s now easier to progress to a date (but avoid your work clothes when you do!).

• Ask him lots of questions and listen – then find opportunities to compliment him (“You did what? You’re such a warm person!”). Lots of humor and laughter are also important, but remember that it’s both about being funny yourself AND laughing at his jokes.

• While dress codes can be strict depending on the workplace, you should take advantage of anything and everything that you do have the freedom to style to the fullest (e.g. not allowed to wear heels? You can still wear stylish flats – or choose to focus on your earrings instead) as long as it isn’t inappropriate.

• Remember that there are legal, professional and personal risks associated with flirting at your workplace (anything physical is an especially big nono), e.g. you might get sued for harassment, you might be passed over for a promotion or even get fired or you it might negatively affect your relationship with other coworkers.

• Don’t use company email to flirt – they are usually monitored by higher-ups. Handwritten notes and letters is a more discreet alternative – not to mention much more fun.

• Only flirt with one guy at a time to reduce the risk of problems.

• Forget about it if it’s a coworker who’s above you in the organizational hierarchy – they would be in a position to cause a lot of trouble for you if they don’t like your advances compared to an equal-level coworker or under.

• Remember that playing hard-to-get and being unpredictable are part of flirting.

• Be subtle – the workplace isn’t a club. It’s easy to get the message across with even slight deviations from standard professional behavior – something as simple as standing a bit too close for a bit too long, unnecessarily brushing hands when handing something over and even doing work-related favors for him (this also earns points by demonstrating competency, but it works in reverse too: asking him for help stimulates his “damsel in distress” instincts – who said flirting at the workplace can’t be productive?). In fact if you’re careless it’s too easy to do this to someone you’re not interested in and send the wrong message – if anything most guys read too much into small things, so take advantage of that.

Is He Flirting or Just Being Nice at Work?

Context is everything. Common flirty behaviors in casual settings only count in the workplace if: a) it’s not a normal part of the job, or b) he doesn’t do it to anyone else that he’s not interested in. Remember that this isn’t an exact science so try to see patterns of several different signs (and many guys are very good at hiding their true feelings).

• Body proximity: Leaning over a desk towards you because he needs to point out something important on a document or computer screen? It’s called working. Standing a little too close during small talk? It could be something more.

• Nervousness and excitement: Another possible sign of interest, unless: a) you’re his superior, b) he just got promoted or c) he has anxiety around everyone else.

• Blushing: Is it summer and is the air conditioning broken? Did something embarrassing just happen? Did he eat something a bit too spicy for lunch? If you’ve try your best but can’t find any real reason why his face consistently turns red whenever he sees y or talks to you, there’s reason for you to start blushing yourself.

• Body contact: Holding hands or embracing as part of a choreographed public performance, photoshoot or video obviously doesn’t mean anything on its own. Of course this doesn’t mean these can’t be a catalyst for creating feelings that weren’t there before – humans aren’t machines after all.

• More attentiveness compared to when interacting with other coworkers, showing irritation when anyone cuts in and putting off work to talk to you are signs he’s into you.

• Remembering things you said or did, especially if it’s detailed, is a positive sign. Make that a negative if it was something embarrassing like throwing up in front of your boss.

• Personal questions: These are usually off-limits in a professional setting especially during the hiring process, so it’s a big sign of interest.

• Flaunting his abilities, accomplishments or possessions could be to get your attention – unless he’s an egomaniac who does that to everyone.

• Complimenting: It could be flirting if he tells you your hair looks nice today – unless he goes on to compliment everyone else at work.

• Emphasizing commonalities with each other is flirting.

• Creating excuses to see you: Is there a possibility he’s a corporate spy wanting to glean important company secrets from you? No? Then there’s a possibility that he’s into you.

• Smiling: A quick, polite “mouth smile” while thanking you for a workplace favor is just being nice. Smiling a lot (especially if his teeth show) whenever you meet eyes or interact could be flirting.

• Eye contact: Looking at you while discussing something important related to work, observing you when training you for new skills or anything that makes it necessary to look at you probably just means he’s doing his job. On the other hand if he stare or tries to catch glimpses of you from across the room for no apparent reason, something else could be going on.