I went through my boyfriends phone and found something!

Everyone does something they regret once in a while. Going through your boyfriend’s phone could be that thing. Trust is an essential component of every relationship, and when you go through your boyfriend’s phone, trust tends to be broken both ways. By going through his phone, you break his trust, and if you find anything that suggests he hasn’t been completely faithful to you, you begin to stop trusting him.

You’ve gone through your boyfriend’s phone and found incriminating content and are now wondering what to do. This is a tricky situation, seeing that you broke his trust, and he broke yours, and the tables could turn both ways.

As much as you need to know what to do, it is also important for you to consider why you went through the phone. We will be addressing possible reasons why you went through the phone and then addressing ways to fix the issue at hand.

Why you went through his phone

Being in a relationship with a person means you trust that their intentions are sincere. When that level of trust is established, there is basically no need to snoop around their personal effects.

The fact that you went through your boyfriend’s phone is a red flag: it means that you don’t trust him enough. Acknowledging the fact that you have trust issues with your boyfriend is the first step in solving this problem. The fact that you went through his phone is an indication of insecurity, and it is also important to acknowledge your insecurities.

Now, what do you do?

Since we’ve established that it wasn’t in your place to go through his phone and that you have a bit of trust and insecurity issues, we will now share ways of getting yourself out of the mess.

Acknowledge your wrongdoing, to him of course

You’re going to have to talk to him about the fact that you went through his phone and found something, and it’s best to begin with acknowledging that you had no right to go through his phone.

Yes, you found something incriminating on his phone, but the best first step for you to make is to establish the fact that you breached his trust and privacy by going through the phone. You should know that he may get angry at you for going through his phone, and be prepared for his reaction.

Be entirely honest about how you feel

Although you will need to organize your thoughts so that you’re not overly emotional, you also need to be entirely honest about how you feel about what you found on his phone. Ask him as many questions as you need to get closure. You shouldn’t act like nothing happened and internalize your feeling. You will end up feeling worse.

Carefully consider the state of the relationship

You should also consider the state of your relationship and evaluate whether the love has been lost between you two. You went through his phone which is something persons that trust their boyfriends rarely do. He had something incriminating on his phone, another red flag. As much as you might hate to admit it, the relationship isn’t exactly great. Considering the state of the relationship will also help you to take the right steps whether in making things right or leaving the relationship.

It is important you remember that you will be tempted to jump to conclusions; please don’t do that.

My boyfriend is always on his phone!

No one wants their boyfriend’s attention stolen by another person much less a device, especially one as mobile as a phone. People take their phones everywhere, and that can be a major source of concern, especially if the phone gets in the way of making human interactions.

So, you were on a date the other day, and he was going through his phone the entire time, even worse than the last time. His behaviour got on every one of your nerves but you were calm throughout the date while asking him politely to put away his phone. He tried but kept going back to viewing his numerous feeds. Now you are wondering how to deal with the situation at hand: your boyfriend spends too much time on his phone, even in very private moments.

Your concerns are valid. No one deserves to have their boyfriend’s attention taken away by a phone, no matter the kind the kind of entertainment offered by the phone. We’ve put together a plan that will help you get your boyfriend’s attention back. You may have been feeling very powerless over the entire situation. We hope to empower you with this piece.

Evaluate that you do not have similar tendencies

It is easy to notice someone else’s misbehaviour without noticing yours. So we will starting with the man in the mirror. Evaluate and ensure that you don’t have similar tendencies. You shouldn’t do this evaluation within a very short time. Give the evaluation at least a week. If you have similar tendencies, even though not bad as his, you should work on yourself first before moving on to him.

Now, put your foot down!

After making sure that your phone doesn’t also steal his attention, it’s time you had a conversation about his phone habits. He may not even know that his habits get on your nerves as much as they do.

You wouldn’t be politely asking him to put away his phone anymore. Instead, you will be having a full conversation about his phone habits, telling him exactly how you feel about his habits. It will be great if you have your thoughts organized beforehand.

Set some rules

He usually agrees to putting away his phone when you ask but picks it up again, after a short time in most cases. This is because you haven’t agreed to a specific length of time he has to stay away from his phone.

Setting those rules will be very helpful. The rules will establish a standard and make him more aware of the fact that his behaviour is breaking the rules.

You could start with the standard “no phones at the dinner table” rule and improve on it. While trying to make these rules, you shouldn’t be out to “punish” him but to establish a situation where both parties make healthy compromises.

We are sure that this is a foolproof plan to get your boyfriend to spend less time on his phone when you’re together. You deserve as much as his attention as you can get back, and we hope that that’s what this plan brings you.

My boyfriend went through my phone!

You still can’t stop thinking about the fact that he went through your phone. “Why did he have to go through my phone”, you keep asking yourself. Whether he confessed to going through your phone or you found out some other way, it’s natural to keep wondering why he did it.

He shouldn’t have gone through your phone, but now he has done it, and you have to address the issue. Firstly, it is important to acknowledge that it is an issue worth addressing. You shouldn’t sweep it under the rug because things will most likely become worse.

Now, you’ve decided to address the fact that he went through your phone. Here are some pointers on how you should go about addressing this issue.

Try not to overreact

Finding out that someone you trust completely doesn’t trust you as much can be a big blow, and one may naturally freak out and overreact, especially if they didn’t confess the act to you. You should ensure that you don’t overreact because that will jeopardize your chances of handling the situation properly. Yes, they probably don’t trust you as much as they used to and that hurts, but you should be concerned about finding out why they did it.

Find out why they did it

As much as you may not be able to understand whatever reason they have for going through your phone, you should try hear them out.

If you found out that they went through your phone without them telling, present your findings to them in a rational way and ask them for their reasons. You already know that they do not trust you as much as you expect them; you should also know the reason for the loss of trust.

You may find out they went through your phone because they were concerned about what was between you and the new colleague you’ve become overly friendly with and are always charting it. This still comes down to them not trusting you enough but you can tell now that their concerns are a bit valid. Also, remember to be objective while they explain why they went snooping.

Address their concerns

Let’s continue with the scenario above where they were bothered about what was going on between you and the new colleague and wanted to find out things themselves from your phone. You should address their concern by explicitly explaining the relationship between you and the colleague.

You should make them understand that going through your phone was a complete breach of privacy and trust. They should be able to trust you enough to bring such concerns to you instead of going through your phone.

At this point, they should be repentant of their act and seek ways of making amends. You should also explain how finding out that they went through your phone made you feel.

Build a stronger relationship

The fact that he went thorough your phone is a clear indication that all is not well. At this point, both of you should address the issues in the relationship. The phone incident may just unearth issues they didn’t notice. Work through those issues and build a stronger relationship where no one will need to check the other person’s phone.

It is also important to carefully evaluate the state of your relationship. Sometimes, the incident may be the sign you need to make that permanent decision of leaving.