When a man is vulnerable with you

Vulnerability is a key ingredient of a lasting relationship. It is what develops intimacy and trust between partners. However, men and women are driven by their fear of being vulnerable with their partner. They fear that exposing their true personality might scare off them off. They believe that maintaining a safe distance from each other creates a safety net for them and enables them to able to rule over their own emotions. They fear that revealing their true nature is shameful.

There are a lot of misconceptions about vulnerability which makes people fear it. Associating it with being weak or submissive is one of many on the list. Maybe that is one reason some guys find it unmanly to be vulnerable, which is wrong in so many ways. First of all, it requires a huge amount of courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Second, revealing yourself to another person involves incredible strength. Third, being emotionally exposed is bravery in its purest form.

You will know how serious he is with you when you observe his actions. You will be able to tell his true intentions with your relationship. Evaluate whether your man shows signs of vulnerability.

When do you know that he is showing you his vulnerable side?

When he wants to learn more about you

When he is willing to listen to you it means he wants a deeper relationship. When he is trying to get to know you, he is not only after your backstory but wants to know about your feelings too. He wants to let you know he can be there for you emotionally as well. To be emotionally connected with you, he must first try to understand you. He is not interested in the superficial things about you, but your whole personality.

When he shares about his past

A man only opens himself to someone when he is very comfortable with that person. That means when he shares with you some personal things about him, he is welcoming you in his life. He wants you to know more about himself so you could understand him better. When two people are free to tell each other about their past, it makes their bond stronger. With knowing each other’s personalities, they grasp the other person’s whole being.

When shows you his true nature

Not being afraid to show you what he really is takes a lot of courage. It means he is willing to be seen without a mask on. He does not want to pretend to be someone else because he wants you to know his authentic personality. He is not afraid to show you who he really is for he allowed himself to be vulnerable with you. And being vulnerable is about taking risks. He is taking the risk of showing his true nature to you, even when he is uncertain whether you are going to accept what he truly is or not.

When he seeks for your help

Some men think that it is necessary to act and be strong in front of their woman. What they don’t know is that most women think that men who ask for help from their partners are the bravest. When he needs your help and let’s you know about it, he is dropping his ego. He does not think that he has to be the only one who should be strong in a relationship. He does not think of you as a weak woman. He treats you as his equal. Even though it’s just to seek for advice for a tiny problem, it shows that he cares so much about your opinion.

When he tells you what’s on his mind

It’s hard to tell what goes on in a man’s mind because they hardly tell anything. That’s why you are extremely lucky when your man starts to tell you what’s on his mind. No more guessing games about what he is thinking. He will tell you when something bothers him, when something upsets him, when something irritates him. When he is vocal about what he thinks it just means that he is being real. He is not holding back his thoughts because he wants a real and mature relationship with you.

When he lets you know how he feels

When your man starts to express his emotions, that means he is willing to be vulnerable with you. If he is being real with you about his emotions, it means that he values your relationship. He wants to establish a relationship where both of you are free to tell each other what you truly feel. With his vulnerability, intimacy surrounds the relationship. It keeps the spark in your love life alive. This is what is needed in a healthy, mature relationship.
Check whether your man shows you anything that is mentioned above. When he passes at least one of these signs, it means he is taking a step towards vulnerability. Keep hoping that he fully embraces his vulnerable side. You’ll know he is the one when he makes it through.

How to be vulnerable with a man

Most people seem to find it very hard to be vulnerable in a relationship. Probably because they think vulnerability is weakness. That’s what makes them so frightened of it. Being vulnerable is in no way related to being weak nor submissive. It does not mean giving up the power to control to the other person.

Vulnerability, if you ask me, is about strength. It is about mustering a great deal of courage to allow yourself to be exposed emotionally. It is to let someone else see who you really are. It is to uncover all your emotions, reveal everything inside you. By being vulnerable with a man, you take yourself to another level with him, and that is INTIMACY. When you become intimate with a man, you let him inside your heart.

But how do you make yourself vulnerable with a man?

You must learn to EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS. Miscommunication is a big relationship problem couples face. Some women have the tendency to keep their feelings inside of them. They think men have superpowers and can read women’s minds.

Admit that you’re guilty of this, too. You assume that your man can assess the situation and easily tell what you’re feeling. When he asks, you usually say the opposite of what you really want to say. For example, when your guy asks if you’re okay, you automatically reply “I’m fine” even when the truth is you’re not. Your man assumes you ARE okay while you remain feeling unwell. You get annoyed at him for being so insensitive, thus, initiating a fight. You think your man has the ability to tell whatever’s going on your mind? Well, fact check, HE DOESN’T.

It is up to you to convey what you really feel to your man. If he did something that upset you, let him know. If he said something that offended you, tell him straight to his face. Do not be afraid of telling him what you are really feeling. This allows him to know more about you. It replaces the guessing-game with understanding.

Now let’s go back to the previous example. He asks you if you’re okay. You reply with, “I am not. You hurt my feelings with what you said.” He apologizes to you and you both discuss about the thing that got you upset. You make up. Problem solved.

When you learn to properly express your feelings to him, you make it easier to communicate with him. As you understand more about each other, your bond becomes tighter.

Another thing you should work on is how to OPEN YOURSELF UP TO HIM. Let him know about previous heartbreaks and pains. By telling him more about your past, he develops a deeper understanding of your personality. Through openness you connect with your man in a more meaningful and satisfying way.

Let him know about the controlling ex-boyfriend you had. Tell him about the previous toxic relationship you had with an abuser. Tell him about that one time you got cheated on.

Let him see through all your cracks and imperfections. To be vulnerable is to allow yourself to be emotionally naked. He will learn to embrace who you truly are when he learns every part of you – even the bad ones – and will appreciate you even more.

Understand that it is okay to LEAN ON HIM EMOTIONALLY when you start opening up to him. Do not think of it as coming off as needy or desperate. It’s only natural to lean on to your man every once in a while.

As you learn to become vulnerable with him, you let him see the tender and fragile parts of you for him to truly see you. You feel safer to be with your man. Your man will serve as your provider and protector when he sees that delicate side of yours. He will make you feel protected and taken care of. This will make your relationship stronger for your man will realize how to meet your emotional needs. Vulnerability will foster a more emotionally and spiritually fulfilling relationship.

Vulnerability, as I have said, is about strength. Dealing with expression, openness, and leaning of emotions involves a great deal of sheer willpower. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with a man is to take a huge risk. You know what they say, the higher the risk is, the higher the reward. The reward that you get here is the love that is formed through the emotional connection you make while letting yourself be truly seen. It might take you an awful lot of time before you can be vulnerable with a man, just know that when you are finally ready to take a baby step towards vulnerability, you’re going to get the purest form of love that there is in this world.